The Man Who Loved to Be First
Memory verse — 3 John 11: “Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God.”
Lesson objectives
- Describe what Gaius, Diotrephes, and Demetrius each show about walking in the truth.
- Explain how one man’s love of first place harms a whole congregation.
- Name a concrete way to support those who work for the truth.
Thesis: Christians who walk in the truth open the door to those who serve the truth; the love of first place shuts out both the brethren and the apostolic word.
1. Gaius: the truth shows at the door
3 John 1–8; 1 Peter 4:9. Brethren reported that Gaius was walking in the truth, and John had no greater joy. Gaius served brethren who were strangers to him and sent them on “in a manner worthy of God.” By supporting men who went out for the sake of the Name, he became a fellow worker with the truth. John’s prayer for his health (v. 2) is a friend’s greeting, not a promise of wealth.
1. What did the brethren report about Gaius, and why did it give John such joy (vv. 3–4)?
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2. How does supplying a gospel worker make a Christian a “fellow worker with the truth” (vv. 7–8)?
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2. Diotrephes: the love of first place shuts the door
3 John 9–10; Matthew 20:26–28. The text does not give Diotrephes’ office; it gives his motive: he loves to be first. He would not accept the apostle’s word, accused John with wicked words, refused the brethren, forbade those who wanted to receive them, and put them out of the church. Jesus overturned the world’s idea of greatness: in His kingdom, greatness is not control over the brethren but service to them.
3. What four things did Diotrephes do in verse 10, and how did one man’s pride reach the whole church?
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4. What are the early marks of the same pride in us today?
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3. Demetrius: follow the good you can see
3 John 11–15. John tells Gaius to imitate what is good, not the loudest man in the congregation. Demetrius had a good testimony from everyone, from the truth itself, and from John. John would rather settle hard matters face to face than with pen and ink; some matters cannot be settled well at a distance, and he closes with peace and with names.
5. According to verse 11, what does a man’s conduct reveal about his relationship with God?
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6. Why are hard matters among brethren better handled face to face (vv. 13–14)?
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Application and response
Personal: Look for Diotrephes in the mirror before you look for him in the pew. Repent of needing the credit, the control, or the last word, and do not answer another man’s pride with your own. If someone like Diotrephes is pressing you, do not imitate his pride, but do not surrender to it either.
Congregational: Receive and support faithful brethren who go out for the sake of the Name. Feed the visiting preacher, support the faithful evangelist, and help the brother who is passing through, in a manner worthy of God.
Respond to Christ: Believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, repent of your sins, confess Him, and be baptized for the forgiveness of your sins (Acts 22:16). Then walk in the truth as His faithful servant.
Truth to hold: __________________________________________________
Obedience to practice: ___________________________________________
Prayer: ________________________________________________________
Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible® (1995 and 2020 Editions), Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org