Eating With Family Members Who Have Been Withdrawn From

Text: 1 Corinthians 5:9–13
Series: Sermons 2001 Rewritten
Date:
Speaker: Ed Rangel
Location: Waupaca Church of Christ
Bible Version: NASB 1995
Sermon Type: Expository

Learning Objectives

1. Explain what 1 Corinthians 5 commands the local church to do with an unrepentant brother.
2. Distinguish church fellowship from family responsibilities without weakening either command.
3. Show why “not even to eat with such a one” forbids social fellowship that implies spiritual approval, not the faithful discharge of household duties.
4. Apply 1 Corinthians 5 and 2 Thessalonians 3 with consistency, compassion, and doctrinal seriousness.
5. Call the erring Christian to repentance and the church to practice discipline without spite, compromise, or confusion.

Thesis

Church discipline requires the local church to withdraw fellowship from the unrepentant brother, but that command must not be twisted into neglecting God-given household duties toward spouses, children, parents, or dependents.

Introduction.

1. The question is painful because it is not theoretical. a. A child may be withdrawn from. b. A spouse may be withdrawn from. c. A parent may be withdrawn from. d. A fleshly brother or sister may be withdrawn from.
2. The question usually comes from 1 Corinthians 5:11. a. Paul says “not even to eat with such a one.” b. That language is serious. c. It must not be watered down.
3. But the text must be handled honestly. a. We cannot soften church discipline because family feelings are strong. b. We cannot destroy God-given family responsibilities because church discipline is serious. c. Scripture does not permit either error.
4. The issue is not whether withdrawal is commanded. a. It is commanded. b. It is necessary. c. It is an act of love, shame, warning, and purity.
5. The issue is how the command applies when the withdrawn person is also in a divinely ordained household relationship. a. A husband remains a husband. b. A wife remains a wife. c. A parent remains a parent. d. A child with responsibilities toward aged parents still has those responsibilities.
6. We must let every passage speak. a. First Corinthians 5 speaks to the local church. b. Second Thessalonians 3 speaks to withdrawal and admonition. c. Ephesians 5 and 6 speak to household duties. d. First Timothy 5 speaks to family care. e. No passage has the right to erase another.

I. First Corinthians 5 Commands the Local Church to Withdraw Fellowship from the Unrepentant Brother.

A. The sin in Corinth was public and tolerated.

1. First Corinthians 5:1 says immorality existed among them. a. It was not hidden. b. It was known. c. It was disgraceful even by Gentile standards.
2. The church had responded wrongly. a. First Corinthians 5:2 says they had become arrogant. b. They should have mourned. c. They should have acted.
3. The church’s inaction was itself sinful. a. Open sin was being tolerated. b. The sinner was not being corrected properly. c. The congregation’s purity was threatened.

B. Paul addresses the church as a gathered body.

1. First Corinthians 5:4 says, “when you are assembled.” a. This is congregational action. b. The matter belonged to the local church. c. It was not merely private family discipline.
2. First Corinthians 5 repeatedly uses congregational language. a. “Among you.” b. “Removed from your midst.” c. “When you are assembled.” d. “The whole lump.” e. “Those who are within.” f. “Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.”
3. The command is for the church to act as the church. a. Discipline is not personal revenge. b. Discipline is not family preference. c. Discipline is local church action under Christ’s authority.

C. The purpose is spiritual, not vindictive.

1. First Corinthians 5:5 speaks of delivering such a one to Satan. a. This recognizes the man’s rebellion. b. It removes the church’s fellowship from him. c. The goal is that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
2. First Corinthians 5:6–7 warns that a little leaven leavens the whole lump. a. Sin spreads when tolerated. b. The church must be kept pure. c. Discipline protects the congregation.
3. First Corinthians 5:11 forbids keeping company with the immoral brother. a. The issue is not hatred. b. The issue is not cruelty. c. The issue is refusing fellowship that treats the man as faithful while he remains in rebellion.

II. “Not Even to Eat” Forbids Fellowship That Implies Spiritual Approval.

A. Paul’s concern is association that treats the sinner as a brother in good standing.

1. First Corinthians 5:11 says not to associate with a so-called brother who lives in such sins. a. The man claims brotherhood. b. His life denies submission. c. The church must not act as if nothing has happened.
2. Eating in the ancient world often signified fellowship and acceptance. a. Table fellowship carried social recognition. b. Eating together could signal peace and approval. c. Paul forbids that kind of ordinary brotherly association.
3. The church must not send mixed messages. a. Publicly withdrawn. b. Privately treated as unchanged. c. Corrected in name but comforted in rebellion.

B. The command is broader than a meal.

1. First Corinthians 5:9 says not to associate. a. The issue is not only food. b. The issue is company. c. The meal is one form of fellowship.
2. Second Thessalonians 3:14 says to take special note of the disobedient man and not associate with him. a. The goal is shame. b. The goal is repentance. c. The man must feel the seriousness of his rebellion.
3. If one applies the command only to food, the text is mishandled. a. One cannot play ball with him in fellowship and then refuse supper. b. One cannot vacation with him in fellowship and then pretend the meal is the only forbidden act. c. The issue is social fellowship that undermines discipline.

C. The withdrawn person must still be admonished as a brother.

1. Second Thessalonians 3:15 says not to regard him as an enemy. a. Withdrawal is not hatred. b. Withdrawal is not contempt. c. Withdrawal is not permission to mistreat.
2. Paul says to admonish him as a brother. a. Speak truth. b. Call for repentance. c. Keep the goal of restoration before him.
3. The church must avoid both extremes. a. Do not continue fellowship as if sin is nothing. b. Do not treat him as an enemy beyond the reach of correction. c. Discipline must carry both firmness and brotherly concern.

III. Church Discipline Does Not Erase Household Duties God Has Commanded.

A. The family and the local church are distinct institutions.

1. The local church has responsibilities. a. Worship. b. Edification. c. Discipline. d. Evangelism. e. Benevolence according to Scripture.
2. The household has responsibilities. a. Husbands and wives have duties to one another. b. Parents have duties to children. c. Children have duties to parents. d. Families have God-given obligations that do not originate in local church fellowship.
3. One institution must not be used to cancel the commands governing the other. a. Church discipline does not cancel marriage. b. Church discipline does not cancel parental duty. c. Church discipline does not cancel care for aged parents.

B. Marriage duties remain binding.

1. Ephesians 5:22–33 commands husbands and wives. a. Husbands must love their wives. b. Wives must respect their husbands. c. Marriage reflects Christ and the church.
2. First Corinthians 7:3–5 commands mutual marital duty. a. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife. b. The wife must fulfill her duty to her husband. c. Deprivation is not permitted except by agreement for a limited time.
3. A church cannot command a spouse to sin against marriage duties. a. A withdrawn husband remains a husband. b. A withdrawn wife remains a wife. c. Faithfulness to church discipline does not authorize marital neglect.

C. Parent and child duties remain binding.

1. Ephesians 6:1–4 gives duties to children and fathers. a. Children obey parents in the Lord. b. Fathers must not provoke children to anger. c. Fathers must bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord.
2. A minor child withdrawn from does not stop being a child in the home. a. Parents must still provide. b. Parents must still discipline. c. Parents must still teach. d. Parents must still fulfill their household responsibility.
3. First Timothy 5:8 warns against failing to provide for one’s own. a. A man who neglects household provision has denied the faith. b. He is worse than an unbeliever. c. Church discipline cannot be twisted into family neglect.

D. Aged or dependent parents may still require care.

1. First Timothy 5:4 commands children and grandchildren to make return to their parents. a. This is acceptable in the sight of God. b. Family care comes before shifting the burden elsewhere. c. God honors proper household repayment.
2. If a withdrawn parent is aged or infirm, duties may remain. a. Care is not fellowship approval. b. Provision is not endorsement of sin. c. Household duty is not the same as spiritual fellowship.
3. The church must not demand disobedience to God’s family commands. a. No congregation has authority to cancel Scripture. b. No discipline decision may require sin. c. God’s commands must harmonize.

IV. The Church Must Apply Discipline Consistently, Carefully, and With the Aim of Restoration.

A. The line must be drawn where Scripture draws it.

1. A grown sibling outside one’s household is not the same as a spouse or dependent child. a. There is no household duty to maintain ordinary social life. b. Fellowship meals and recreational companionship may violate 1 Corinthians 5. c. Blood kinship alone does not override church discipline.
2. An adult child with his own household is not the same as a minor child under parental care. a. Once household responsibility changes, the application may change. b. Parents must not use family sentiment to nullify discipline. c. The gospel must outrank emotional pressure.
3. The practical test is whether the contact fulfills a God-given duty or undermines discipline. a. Duty must be fulfilled. b. Fellowship that signals approval must stop. c. Admonition must continue.

B. Inconsistency weakens discipline.

1. It is inconsistent to forbid supper but maintain all other forms of ordinary social fellowship. a. The text says not to associate. b. The meal is not the only issue. c. The issue is fellowship recognition.
2. It is inconsistent to shun a spouse from the table and then claim marriage duties remain untouched. a. The household cannot function by pretending the spouse is not a spouse. b. Scripture commands real marital responsibility. c. False consistency becomes disobedience to family texts.
3. It is inconsistent to discipline without admonition. a. Silence is not admonition. b. Anger is not admonition. c. Truth spoken in love is required.

C. The goal is repentance and restoration.

1. Second Corinthians 2:6–8 shows the danger of over-severity when repentance occurs. a. The punishment by the majority was sufficient. b. They were to forgive and comfort him. c. They were to reaffirm love.
2. Discipline must not become pride. a. The church must act because Christ commands it. b. The church must restore when repentance comes. c. The church must not enjoy separation.
3. The erring brother must feel both loss and love. a. Loss of fellowship. b. Loss of normal brotherly association. c. Love expressed through warning, teaching, and desire for restoration.

Application.

1. For the church. a. Do not ignore open, unrepentant sin. b. Do not pretend discipline is optional. c. Do not confuse discipline with cruelty.
2. For families. a. Do not use family ties to erase church discipline. b. Do not use church discipline to neglect family duties. c. Keep every command in its proper place.
3. For spouses. a. A withdrawn spouse remains a spouse. b. Marriage duties remain binding. c. Admonition must continue without turning the home into an approval of rebellion.
4. For parents. a. A minor child in the home still needs provision, instruction, correction, and love. b. An adult child outside the home may not be treated the same way. c. Sentiment must not nullify Scripture.
5. For the withdrawn brother or sister. a. The church is not your enemy. b. Your family should not be your hiding place from repentance. c. Come home to Christ.
6. For elders, preachers, and teachers. a. Teach this carefully before crisis comes. b. Do not make rules broader than Scripture. c. Do not make Scripture narrower than it is.

Conclusion.

1. First Corinthians 5 commands real action. a. The church must not tolerate open, unrepentant sin. b. The church must remove fellowship from the rebellious brother. c. The church must not eat in fellowship with such a one.
2. Second Thessalonians 3 gives the spirit of that action. a. Do not associate. b. Let him be ashamed. c. Do not count him as an enemy. d. Admonish him as a brother.
3. Household commands must also stand. a. A spouse remains a spouse. b. A minor child remains under parental care. c. An aged parent may still require faithful support.
4. Scripture does not contradict itself. a. Church discipline must be practiced. b. Family responsibilities must be honored. c. The goal must remain repentance, purity, and restoration.
5. The church must be firm enough to obey and humble enough to obey all of it. a. Not soft where God is strict. b. Not harsh where God gives duty. c. Faithful in every relationship.

Invitation.

1. Hear the word. a. Romans 10:17 says faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.
2. Believe Christ. a. John 8:24 warns that unless you believe that Jesus is He, you will die in your sins.
3. Repent. a. Acts 17:30 says God commands all people everywhere to repent.
4. Confess Christ. a. Romans 10:9–10 teaches confession with the mouth and belief in the heart.
5. Be baptized for the remission of sins. a. Acts 2:38 commands repentance and baptism in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins.
6. Live faithfully. a. Revelation 2:10 calls the Christian to be faithful until death.
7. If you are a Christian living in rebellion. a. Do not force the church to withdraw. b. Do not force your family to carry the grief of your stubbornness. c. Repent and be restored.

Word Study.

Scripture Interlock Table.