Qualifications of Elders (2) — Lesson 3
Temperament + Moral Purity (The Man Under Pressure)
> Thesis: God requires elders to be calm under pressure, clean in private, and steady in judgment—because shepherding forces a man to make hard decisions, absorb criticism, confront sin, and protect souls without losing self-control or spiritual clarity.
Lesson Targets (What This Lesson Must Accomplish)
| Goal | Outcome |
|---|---|
| Temperament Matters | Show why skill, success, or confidence can never replace self-control, sobriety, gentleness, and stability. |
| Self-Control Under Pressure | Explain what “temperate / self-controlled / sober-minded” looks like when the church is stressed. |
| Gentleness Without Weakness | Prove that “not violent / gentle / not quarrelsome” is firmness without fleshly heat. |
| Authority Without Self-Will | Expose the danger of driving the church by personal will instead of leading by Scripture and example. |
| Private Holiness | Show why moral purity must be real in secret—not only respectable in public. |
| Money, Chemicals, and Control | Identify the three common “slow poisons” that ruin spiritual oversight: greed, intoxicants, and domination. |
| Church Protection | Train the class to recognize warning signs early—before damage spreads. |
Opening Truth
The first danger of shepherding is not wolves.
The first danger is the shepherd himself—if his temperament is unstable, and his private life is compromised.
An elder must face:
- criticism without bitterness
- conflict without panic
- accusation without revenge
- sin without soft compromise
- pressure without rash decision
- fear without cowardice
- popularity without pride
This lesson deals with the man under strain.
Not the man in ideal conditions.
Not the man on his best day.
God’s standard addresses how a man behaves when he is pushed.
> “An overseer, then, must be above reproach… temperate, prudent… not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable… free from the love of money.”
> (1 Timothy 3:2–3, NASB 1995)
> “For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed… but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled.”
> (Titus 1:7–8, NASB 1995)
1) Elements of Temperament (The Shepherd’s Inner Stability)
Temperament is not “personality preference.”
Temperament is spiritual stability under pressure.
A man can be:
- smart
- talented
- respected
- experienced
…and still be unsafe to follow.
God is not just asking, “Can he lead?”
God is asking, “Can he carry souls without losing himself?”
A) Self-Controlled / Temperate (1 Timothy 3:2)
> “temperate”
> (1 Timothy 3:2, NASB 1995)
Self-control means a man acts with deliberation—not impulse.
It means he is governed by the Word—not moods.
It means he can slow down when everyone else is speeding up.
What Self-Control Looks Like in Real Life
A self-controlled man does not live in extremes:
- not reckless with words
- not sloppy with money
- not careless with entertainment
- not undisciplined with time
- not ruled by appetite or habit
The work requires steady leadership, not reactive leadership.
> “The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer.”
> (1 Peter 4:7, NASB 1995)
A man cannot shepherd with spiritual clarity if he is constantly blurred by undisciplined living.
B) Sober-Minded / Prudent (1 Timothy 3:2)
> “prudent”
> (1 Timothy 3:2, NASB 1995)
An elder must think clearly.
Not just know Bible facts.
But think through consequences, motives, dangers, and the long-term health of the flock.
This Qualification Protects the Church From “Reaction Elders”
A sober-minded elder:
- does not lead by emotional swing
- does not make decisions “to prove a point”
- does not explode because he feels threatened
- does not panic and then call it “courage”
- does not confuse loudness with leadership
A flighty, uncertain, reactionary man cannot do this work.
> “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable…”
> (James 3:17, NASB 1995)
Sober-minded elders lead the church with wisdom from above, not heat from below.
C) Not Violent — Gentle — Not Quarrelsome (1 Timothy 3:3)
> “not pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable”
> (1 Timothy 3:3, NASB 1995)
Taken together, this describes a calm shepherd:
- not easily provoked
- not combative
- not addicted to conflict
- not ruled by defensiveness
Among God’s people, “Let’s step outside and settle it” is never an option.
But Gentle Does Not Mean Weak
Gentleness is controlled strength.
Not cowardice.
Not compromise.
Not silence while error spreads.
An elder must be able to confront evil without becoming evil.
> “The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all… with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition.”
> (2 Timothy 2:24–25, NASB 1995)
There are times the church must withstand false teaching and sinful behavior.
But it must be done in a measured way—without abuse, mockery, or vindictiveness.
> “Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock… savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock.”
> (Acts 20:28–29, NASB 1995)
A gentle man still guards.
A peaceable man still protects.
A calm man still confronts.
D) Not Self-Willed (Titus 1:7)
> “not self-willed”
> (Titus 1:7, NASB 1995)
This is the temperament issue most churches ignore until it ruins them.
Self-willed means:
- “my way or nothing”
- “I don’t have to explain myself”
- “I don’t listen”
- “I am the church’s conscience”
- “I will force what I think is best”
The Hidden Danger: Zeal Without Restraint
A man can see real danger and still respond wrongly.
He can be right about the problem—and wrong in his spirit.
A seasoned elder can also crush younger men by assuming,
“If you don’t agree with me, you’re foolish.”
That produces:
- fear
- silence
- resentment
- spiritual paralysis
- private division
Scripture Draws the Boundary
Peter states it plainly:
> “nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.”
> (1 Peter 5:3, NASB 1995)
Elders must lead by:
- Scripture
- example
- persuasion through truth
- courageous protection
—not by raw force of personality.
> “We are not lording it over your faith, but are workers with you for your joy…”
> (2 Corinthians 1:24, NASB 1995)
2) Evidence of Moral Purity (The Private Man Must Match the Public Man)
Moral purity is not “good image.”
It is actual holiness.
A man can appear respectable and still be compromised:
- hidden habits
- secret indulgences
- private entertainment choices
- financial greed disguised as “responsibility”
- substances that blur judgment
- a double-life with nobody knowing
God’s qualifications are written to prevent churches from gambling with leadership.
A) Lover of What Is Good — Holy (Titus 1:8)
> “hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled”
> (Titus 1:8, NASB 1995)
A qualified elder does not enjoy filth.
He does not “feed” on what is corrupt.
He truly seeks what is beneficial, godly, and clean.
This is About What a Man Loves
Not just what he avoids.
What he enjoys.
What he pursues.
What he defends.
> “Finally, brethren… whatever is true… honorable… right… pure… lovely… of good repute… dwell on these things.”
> (Philippians 4:8, NASB 1995)
This kind of man is safe to follow because his taste is holy.
B) Not Addicted to Wine (1 Timothy 3:3)
> “not addicted to wine”
> (1 Timothy 3:3, NASB 1995)
A man who must keep his judgment sharp cannot allow himself to be compromised by intoxicants.
This is not about pretending alcohol has no effect until a man is staggered.
It is about refusing anything that dulls clarity and weakens restraint.
> “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation…”
> (Ephesians 5:18, NASB 1995)
Why This Matters for Elders
Elders must often deal with:
- crises
- discipline
- counseling
- false teaching
- emotionally unstable members
- hard decisions with long consequences
An elder under the influence—even mildly—cannot do this work safely.
A shepherd must remain ready.
> “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise… making the most of your time…”
> (Ephesians 5:15–16, NASB 1995)
A man who insists on “my nightly beer” is already telling you something:
- he will protect his preference
- even when it weakens his qualification
That is a red flag, not a liberty speech.
C) Free From the Love of Money (1 Timothy 3:3)
> “free from the love of money”
> (1 Timothy 3:3, NASB 1995)
Wealthy and greedy are not the same.
A rich man may be content.
A poor man may be consumed with greed.
Greed shows itself as:
- constant dissatisfaction
- living beyond means
- working to the neglect of family
- chasing “more” as a life goal
- making spiritual decisions through financial lenses
Why Greed is a Church-Destroyer
Because elders handle:
- church funds
- benevolence decisions
- priorities
- judgment calls about what should be supported
If a man is greedy, he will be influenced:
- to protect money over souls
- to avoid necessary work because it “costs too much”
- to reward people who give
- to treat the treasury like a business budget
The Spirit warns us what greed does to men:
> “But those who want to get rich fall into temptation… and many foolish and harmful desires…”
> (1 Timothy 6:9, NASB 1995)
> “For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil…”
> (1 Timothy 6:10, NASB 1995)
Greed and materialism are surface cracks from deeper fault lines.
3) Class Questions (Temperament + Moral Purity)
Discussion Questions (No Fluff)
| # | Question | Scripture Anchor |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Are people born with differences of temperament, and what must a potential elder learn about himself if he is to become qualified? | 1 Timothy 3:2–3; Titus 1:7–8 |
| 2 | What pressures most often tempt elders to act impulsively instead of self-controlled? | James 1:19–20; 1 Timothy 3:2 |
| 3 | How can a man be “gentle” without becoming soft on sin and error? | 2 Timothy 2:24–25; Acts 20:28–31 |
| 4 | What might persuade an elder to become self-willed in leading the congregation? | Titus 1:7; 1 Peter 5:3 |
| 5 | Where is the boundary between leading with wisdom and imposing personal preference? | 2 Corinthians 1:24; Romans 14:19 |
| 6 | Respond: “Any man who can run a successful business ought to make a good elder.” | 1 Timothy 3:1–7; Titus 1:5–9 |
| 7 | How might greed cause an elder to look wrongly upon congregational finances? | 1 Timothy 3:3; 1 Timothy 6:9–10 |
| 8 | Why does the Holy Spirit demand “not addicted to wine” for a man who must shepherd souls? | 1 Timothy 3:3; Ephesians 5:18 |
| 9 | If a prospective elder says, “I refuse to give up my nightly beer,” would you consider that disqualifying—and why? | 1 Timothy 3:3; 1 Peter 5:2–3 |
| 10 | What are early warning signs that a man is becoming quarrelsome, defensive, or controlling? | 1 Timothy 3:3; Titus 1:7 |
Take-Home Assignment (Faith in Action)
| Reading | Purpose |
|---|---|
| 1 Timothy 3:1–7 | Underline every word that describes temperament, restraint, and money. |
| Titus 1:5–9 | Circle every word that describes moral purity and self-rule. |
| 1 Peter 5:1–4 | Write two lines: “What a shepherd must never become” and “What a shepherd must always remain.” |
| Acts 20:28–31 | List the dangers that will test a man’s temperament, courage, and doctrine. |
| 1 Timothy 6:6–10 | Write the difference between contentment and greed in plain language. |
Closing Charge
Temperament is not “style.”
Temperament is safety.
Moral purity is not “reputation.”
Moral purity is credibility with God.
A church that installs a man who is:
- impulsive
- reactionary
- quarrelsome
- controlling
- compromised by chemicals
- motivated by money
…is not “strengthening leadership.”
It is planting future grief.
Elders must be steady.
Private and public must match.
And the church must honor God by refusing men who cannot carry the weight.
Next Lesson: Qualifications of Elders (3) — Reputation, Hospitality, Family Honor, and Public Credibility.
Appendix — Teaching Charts (Lesson 3)
Chart A — Temperament: What God Requires vs. What Churches Tolerate
| Qualification | God Requires | Churches Often Tolerate | Damage It Produces |
|---|---|---|---|
| Self-controlled (1 Tim 3:2) | Deliberate, disciplined, restrained | Impulsive, undisciplined, scattered | Rash decisions, inconsistent leadership |
| Sober-minded / prudent (1 Tim 3:2) | Clear judgment, rational deliberation | Emotional swings, reaction leadership | Panic leadership, whiplash direction |
| Gentle (1 Tim 3:3) | Measured strength, calm correction | Harsh tone, sarcasm, intimidation | Fear, silence, resentment |
| Not quarrelsome (1 Tim 3:3) | Peaceable spirit, not combative | Argument-driven, always “fighting” | Division, exhausted members |
| Not self-willed (Tit 1:7) | Leads by Scripture + example | Personal rule, “my way” dominance | Control culture, suppressed truth |
Chart B — Moral Purity: Three “Slow Poisons” That Ruin Oversight
| Issue | Text | What It Looks Like | Why It Disqualifies |
|---|---|---|---|
| Dirty private life | Titus 1:8 | Questionable habits, hidden indulgences | Undermines trust, weakens conscience |
| Intoxicants | 1 Tim 3:3; Eph 5:18 | “I need it to relax,” dulled judgment | Blurs restraint; shepherd must stay sharp |
| Love of money | 1 Tim 3:3; 1 Tim 6:9–10 | Materialism, discontent, manipulation | Twists decisions, harms the flock |
Chart C — “Gentle” Doesn’t Mean Soft: Firmness Without Fleshly Heat
| Situation | Soft Response (Wrong) | Harsh Response (Wrong) | Gentle Firm Response (Right) |
|---|---|---|---|
| False teaching rises | Ignore it to keep peace | Humiliate and crush | Refute with Scripture, protect the flock |
| Member in sin | Excuse it as “struggle” | Attack with anger | Correct plainly, call for repentance |
| Church conflict | Avoid decisions | Dominate with threats | Listen, judge biblically, act decisively |
| Accusations/criticism | Retreat and quit | Retaliate and punish | Stay steady, answer fairly, keep watch |
Chart D — Red Flags: Early Warning Signs a Man Is Unsafe to Appoint
| Red Flag | What You’ll See | Why It Matters | Text |
|---|---|---|---|
| Impulse leadership | Fast decisions, fast reversals | Church lives in instability | 1 Tim 3:2 |
| Defensive spirit | Correction feels like insult | Pride blocks growth | 1 Tim 3:6 (principle) |
| Control language | “My church,” “my people” | Turns shepherding into domination | 1 Pet 5:3 |
| Substance attachment | “I won’t give it up” | Preference outranks qualification | 1 Tim 3:3 |
| Money obsession | Constant “cost” thinking | Souls become secondary | 1 Tim 3:3 |
